Last week we talked about Action Gaps and how important it is be mindful about making sure our words and actions are fully in alignment when it comes to building trust and credibility in both our personal and professional lives. Sometimes, like in my initial example from last week, these gaps can be inadvertently created due to differences in communication styles and how we use and understand certain words and phrases. But other times these gaps are more intrinsic to how we function in general and point to deeper issues about our integrity with ourselves.

 Regardless of where they come from, these Action Gaps are costing us our social reputations to various degrees, and therefore our opportunities for growth and future success. Which brings us to the real questions - How can we start to find out where these Action Gaps might lie, and perhaps more importantly, how can we begin to close them?

 One option to address this question is by running what I call Action Audits to see where we are expressing interest in or even commitment to do something, but then don’t actually follow through when it comes time for action.

 It’s a good idea to start small here with a Self-Audit. By this I mean simply check in with yourself to see where your “present self” made a plan for your “future self” to do later. But, when later eventually comes, no actual action happened - creating an Action Gap. No need to seek any changes at this point, just be mindful of where and when you aren’t following through on a plan or promise you made to yourself, no matter how big or small it might seem.

 Often times these Action Gaps show up in our aspirations for self-care or self-improvement, such as going to the gym, skipping dessert, or staying focused on a work project during certain time frames. Yet, when it comes time to follow through, we find ourselves sleeping in instead of going to the gym, eating the dessert, and fucking around on the internet instead of focusing on our work project. It's easy to view one-off events like these as no big deal and something to “try again” tomorrow. But tomorrow comes and goes, and we still don’t follow up with external actions that match our internal plans.

 Other times these Action Gaps can create much larger and impactful problems in our lives. One example here could be in personal finances, such as saving up a certain amount of money or paying off some debt by a certain date. Another could be in your relationship, like wanting to bring up a difficult topic but then veering away when the time comes or even vowing to stay faithful only to stray as an opportunity to do so arises.

 For some people, promises like these seem trivial or minor and they break them without a second thought. For others, they are tied up in messy histories and deeper issues. However, and no matter how big or small, any and all Action Gaps have bigger costs associated with them, well beyond the simple calories burned or gained and money saved or spent.

 The much more important dynamic in play here is the issue of one’s deeper integrity. What many people fail to realize is that their trust and confidence in themselves greatly impacts the trust and confidence that other people will have in them too. In other words, self-trust creates the strong foundation necessary for other people to place trust in you. Therefore, nurturing/nourishing your confidence in yourself will naturally lead to you gaining trust and credibility in the minds of your peers and colleagues as well.

 Identifying some of your internal Action Gaps by running a fiercely honest Action Audit can be a very difficult process. Mapping and tracking your behavior can be tricky enough, but the harder part of this process really comes down to facing these truths openly and honestly. You might be surprised at how scary it can be to simply sit down with the basic facts of your broken promises and not give in to the tempting litany of bullshit excuses, rationalizations, and other defense mechanisms. But this first step of running an accurate Action Audit is the necessary prerequisite to beginning the real work of closing those Action Gaps to build up your integrity and trust in yourself.

Once you have identified where and how these Action Gaps tend to pop up in your life, then you can begin the harder work of closing them. This sounds very simple in theory. You either stop making plans and promises you consistently can’t keep, or you start being more intentional about tracking those plans and promises so that you can follow up with the right action when the time comes. Ideally, you do both, right? More effort and attention placed on both ends of the deal will indeed build up your internal integrity quickly. But… reality is never as simple as the ideal.

We’ll circle back to Action Gap closing next week to explore some of the factors that make it much harder than it seems and offer up a 3-step process to help you in your efforts.