2-fer Tuesday #4 Group vs Team, Likeability vs Trust

** This piece is part of my ongoing “2-fer Tuesday” series where I share critical distinctions in how to view and think about the world that may help you see things more clearly - which then supports better thinking, firmer decision making, and wiser action taking. ** 

Workplace professionalism seems to be a topic of increasing concern for many of my clients, and especially so for those with large teams to manage. I’ll share 2 frameworks today that may be applicable in your efforts to increase the professionalism in your workplace. The first one – Group vs Team – is a lens aimed at your team, whether one you manage or one in which you’re a member. The second one – Likeability vs Trust – is more aimed at how you are showing up, especially in a Leadership role, and in which way you’ll want to invest more effort going forward.

TL; DR – Teams built on Trust will outperform Groups based on Likeability, 8 days a week. 

1)     Group vs Team – This one is another of those concepts that is super easy to understand but exceedingly difficult to assess and change in the real world. The shortest riff is to simply understand that Teams are connected via various threads of “shared aspirations,” and usually quite significant ones like Mission, Vision, outcome goals, and other forward-looking endeavors.  

Groups, on the other hand, are often connected by “shared circumstances” or simpler, more fundamental conditions like just being co-workers, colleagues, wine drinkers, and/or other non-performance oriented elements. The main issue here is that many Teams function more like Groups, which not only yields mediocre results at best, but also demoralizes and disincentivizes individual high performers who clearly see their best individual efforts go unappreciated and unrewarded.

Take away here for you as an Individual – How well are the Teams you are connected to and with truly operating as a coherent Team oriented to performance-based aspirations vs hanging out as a Group or Groups, bonded by non-performance based fashions, fads, and opinions? What might you do in your words and deeds to shift the professionalism dynamic up a notch or two towards the Team ideal?

Take away here for you as a Leader – What are you doing to organize and orient your Team to its higher collective function? How are you motivating and rewarding high performing individuals while also recognizing other contributions to the team’s success. Perhaps more importantly, how are you directly and clearly addressing and preventing the devolving forces of Group dynamics to creep in and undermine your better efforts?

2)   Likeability vs Trust – This is probably one of the most common issues that comes up for people in the earlier phases of their total Leadership journey. Primarily because as Team Leaders, Managers, and VPs they have to make and/or communicate a lot of things that are going to be unliked. From difficult 1-on-1’s and performance reviews to project pivots and changing company polices, you are destined to be the messenger of almost all the “bad” news that your employees or teams are going to hear. This is unavoidable, and in fact, only gets more challenging the higher up you go. Choosing pathways that build long term Trust over increasing short term Likeability is the best way to proceed here. 

The crux of the problem is that, people being people, we tend to automatically orient to relationships and connections, especially when delivering “bad” news. Which is fine. HOW we relate to connection is the issue. To the degree that we ONLY focus on the person in front of us, ONLY focus on how they respond in the moment, and/or ONLY (and perhaps unconsciously) focus on how WE are going to feel in response to them feeling bad. All those things (and others too) point us squarely in the wrong direction of Likeability. They also lead us to present the “bad” news less directly, less clearly, and less constructively. And guess what? Those factors work AGAINST any and all efforts to build trust, the much more important factor here. 

Trust is one of the rarest and most powerful reservoirs of influence and leadership effectiveness you have almost complete control over creating. And losing too. In fact, it is one of only 3 factors I use when assessing a Leader’s true Leadership Effectiveness Quotient, or LEQ.

Trust differs from Likeability in myriad ways, so for this short piece here I’ll simply state that it is just better all around. But how to orient to building trust when delivering bad news? 

Whereas Likeability concerns drive focus to the immediate feelings of both your recipient and yourself in the moment, Trust building orientation brings your vision up higher out of the particulars of the moment and over the long game and wider team. A direct report who knows you are going to give them clear and direct feedback, and then shift over to action steps for improvement may not like what they hear, but they can trust what you say that you are focused on helping them improve.

And beyond just that relationship, when you act out of integrity and focus on building trust with that one individual, other team members will either hear about it and begin to trust you more as well. Trust and Respect go hand in hand, and when it comes to true Team Leadership, who would you rather have at the helm in turbulent times? A Leader you like? Or a Leader that you trust and respect? 

Take away for you as an Individual – Where do you notice your natural urges to be liked getting in the way of your more authentic position, opinion, and/or perspective? How might you lean further into the risk of speaking more clearly and directly in order to work towards the long game of building trust while also conducting yourself respectfully and responsibly in the context of relationship concerns? Would intentionally bringing up the topic of building trust as part of the conversation shift the dynamic for both you and the other people involved?

Take away for you as a Leader – Trust and Respect are 100x more important to your long term aspirations than Likeability, and not just for you and your Leadership goals but also for all those who serve below you. Showing up every day in your fullest authenticity encourages everyone else to do the same, creating crucial bonds of connection and support that make the good times better and make the hard times easier. And Pro Tip: Being direct, clear, and action-oriented for future success with all your “bad news” will also increase your Likeability in the long run too! 

In summary, healthy Team dynamics can be fostered and fertilized by explicitly focusing on higher shared professional aspirations, recognizing and rewarding high individual performance, and handling all interactions with an effort to build trust through authentic engagement. Nowhere is this truer than when giving “bad” news, and in those situations its important be direct and clear, and to then follow up with actionable steps for improvement.  

Unhealthy teams tend to orient to more personal-based connections that often have nothing to do with job responsibilities, leading to loss of focus, lower output, and worse performance results. In addition, unhealthy Group dynamics can create a workplace culture based on popularity, which can then mis-incentivize people to orient more to Likeability in their conversations, which eventually erodes trust all across the board. Low trust groups will compare poorly to high trust teams in every metric that matters, every time.

What can you start and/or stop doing today to build Trust and increase Team coherence in your workplace?